Former First Lady Michelle Obama said on her podcast that she does not miss her daughters now that they’ve moved out, a comment that has drawn sharp reactions from parents across social media.
On a recent episode of her podcast, IMO, recorded with her brother Craig Robinson and guest Jon Stewart, Obama discussed life as an “empty nester.” “I don’t miss ’em,” she said of her daughters, Malia and Sasha. “I love them,” she added, saying her affection for them hasn’t changed even though their absence brings her relief rather than sadness. The episode was released August 26 and a clip quickly went viral on X.
Obama elaborated: “I don’t, I love them, I’m going to see them tonight for dinner.” She said she spent “so much quality time” with her daughters that she “knows them inside and out,” and framed their departure as “growth” and “emancipation” rather than loss. She contrasted her reaction to her husband’s when their daughters left for college: “Barack cried when they went to college and I was like, ‘Bye…'”
She also described a sense of relief. “Now, Friday nights aren’t wrecked with terror and fear about, ‘Where are you, where are you?'” Obama said. “I’m 60 years old, I’ve finished a really hard thing in my life with my family intact, I’m an empty nester, my girls are in, you know, they’ve been launched.” She said she is in therapy as she “unwinds some old habits and sorts through some old guilt” while entering “a whole ‘nother phase in life.”
Parents push back
The remarks generated pushback from parents who described a very different relationship with the idea of children leaving home. Former View co-host Meghan McCain wrote on X: “I am obsessed with my children. Obsessed with them. I cried when my daughter started pre-school two days a week. Whenever the day comes they leave the nest, I am going to have a nervous breakdown and Ben knows this. I could no relate less to what Michelle Obama is saying.”
Other users echoed that sentiment. “Same. I don’t understand her at all. I tell my soon-to-be 23-year-old that I wish she would move back in! I miss her so much!” one wrote. Another said, “Mine are in their forties. I still check in. I still worry about them. Momma hen here.” A grandmother posted, “I can’t fathom what [Michelle] is saying. I don’t know one mother that thinks like that! NONE! My children and grandchildren are my world.”
Not everyone objected. Some users defended Obama’s outlook as a healthy embrace of independence. “Judge much? Everyone’s different. I was excited for my kids to gain independence and to see who they’ve become,” one wrote. Another added, “Sometimes you don’t know what you haven’t experienced. Wait until they leave for college. The sooner you are able to let them free, the faster they grow independent. People experience and give love differently.”
A new chapter
Obama described her current stage of life as one where “every choice that I’m making is completely mine,” calling herself “a new person that’s getting to know me” and noting she sought “some coaching” to help with the adjustment.
Her daughters are both adults. Malia, 28, a Harvard graduate, recently made her directorial debut with the film The Heart. Sasha, 25, graduated from the University of Southern California in 2023. The family appeared together in June for the opening of the Obama Presidential Center in Chicago, Illinois.
Reaction online showed the divide is unlikely to settle soon. “I used to think I’d stop worrying about my kids when they turned 18! Boy, was I stupid,” one user wrote. Another countered, “Wait ten to 12 years. Wait until they’re dating, drama with friends, succumbing to social trends, etc. College for them is vacation for you.”
